Don’t settle. Wait for real love.

May 19, 2019

“I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.” Song of Solomon 7:10, NIV.

When it came time to choose who I would marry, I remember pleading with God to speak to me. I wanted Him to speak with lightning in His voice and with the sound of many waters, “Kesha, marry this one!” In my mind, I had three options: The guy I had known since middle school which my mother absolutely adored, the guy from my youth ministry who was on fire for God, and the one I had met in college who was a campus ministry president, handsome, and loved the Lord. Right from the start, I knew there was something different about the third guy. So I stood back and observed how he treated others, how he treated his mother, how he treated me, and how he behaved in different situations. After years of building a solid friendship, I knew he was a good one, but was he the one for me?

I remember, as I sat on my bedroom floor, I said, “Lord, I don’t want to marry the wrong guy and be miserable. I desperately need you to show me if he’s for me!” God didn’t say a word. Instead, He opened my eyes to see the obvious: this guy loved me, and I loved him. He never pressured me to have sex before marriage, he never cursed at me, never raised his hand at me, never cheated on me, and never made me feel like anything less than God’s daughter. I wouldn’t have settled for anything less because I know who I am and what I deserve. But to see someone do this for me out of love for God blessed me to no end.

I chose to marry him because God helped me recognize real love.

If you are single ask yourself this, do you know real love when you see it? Real love is the bond that holds a relationship together through anything. That kind of love only comes from the Lord, my sister. It can only be seen when you stand back and observe.

God’s standard in any relationship is 1 Corinthians 13. If you are dating someone, ask yourself, is he patient? Is he kind? Is he easily angered? Is he jealous? Does he only look out for himself? And so on. If he doesn’t meet this standard, it would be wise to keep on waiting until God brings you the guy He has for you.

Don’t settle. Wait for real love.

Prayer: Father God, I thank you for your wisdom. I want real love. Help me understand what it is. Help me not be blinded by sexual desires or by what someone can do for me. Help me wait until you bless me with the one you have waiting for me. Open my eyes to see real love when he comes my way. Show me who I am and my worth. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

(Read James 1:17; Hebrews 10:36)


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